Part 3

"Marc! Get the door!" Mom is yelling from somewhere in the basement.

"I'm busy!"

"Eric! Door please!"

"I can't mom... get Jared to get it!"

"Jared...!" My mom is becoming exasperated.

"JORDAN GET THE DOOR!" Jared's' voice booms from below. I sigh as I push myself off my bed and jog down the stairs. I jog through the living room only to see my three brothers sprawled across the furniture playing the new NHL for Xbox. They look up at me and laugh, I can't help but laugh back too; some things will never change.

I reach the front door and pull it open. A baby wrapped in a Rangers blanket and strapped into a portable car seat is pushed into my arms, the unexpected weight forcing me back a step. My dad comes in and laughs at the look of surprise on my face as the child stares at me; sizing me up I'm sure.
Alice steps in next, her short hair spiked out every-which-way and covered in flakes of snow. She brushes it off hastily and smiles up at me. "You look terrified Jordie," she says in her tiny voice, "someone would think you've never seen a baby before."

"Seen yes... held no... you should probably take him back before I break him." She giggles but obliges me, taking the car seat out of my hands and moving into the living room with it. The boys pause their game as Alice sets Shamus down on the table; behind to sofa.
Marc, Eric and Jared all jump onto the couch, peering over the side. Apparently no one else notices my heart hammering through my chest.

"I don't think you could break him... he's pretty fat isn't he?"

"Marc!" My mom yells as she comes quickly into the living room to greet Alice with a hug. "He's a baby! And he's nothing compared to how big you use to be. Why, I can remember praying every night that you'd start walking soon... you were 7 months old and I was already getting back problems from lugging you around."

"That's why she ended up dropping him so much I guess..." Eric says quietly; causing Jared and I to laugh.

"He's cute but I don't know Alice... 'Rangers' really?!" Eric continues shaking his head in mock disgust, "poor, poor kid... he has no idea the heartache he's in for" We all laugh as Alice sighs.

"Well it was that or his Crosby jersey..."

"Crosby!" Marc squishes up his face in pretend outrage. "Where are all the ladies that love Marc Staal!?"

"Right here!" My mom exclaims, pulling Marc into a hug and kissing his cheek.

"Gee, thanks mom... that's exactly what I meant..."



As happy as my mom is to see Alice, she seems much more thrilled to have a baby in the house again. She's all but kidnapped Shamus; refusing to put him down, and inadvertently giving Alice an unusual amount of free time.
I find her sitting cross-legged on my bed, staring at the collage she made all those years ago.

"It's funny isn't it..." She says, not bothering to look up at me as I enter.

"What?"

"...how much has changed for all of us..."

I chuckle and nod my head, then feel foolish as I realize she's not looking at me to see. "Yah... it's pretty crazy."

"You're all playing pro hockey... well... you all will be soon..."

"You're a mom. That's a pretty big deal."

She smiles, finally turning to look at me. "Best thing I've ever done."

I cross the room and look out my window, onto the back the yard. There's no one left to skate on it but dad still has the old backyard rink freshly flooded; old habits die hard I suppose.

"Do you ever wonder what would of happened to us?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like... what would of happened to us if we all had of ended up here... instead of... all over the country?" She gazes at me intently for a moment as I ponder the question. I look back out the window deep in thought.


I am seventeen, and it is my last day in Thunder Bay. I've been drafted to the Pittsburgh Penguins and my flight is leaving at 5:45am. It's 12:12 pm right now. The whole world seems to be opening up infront of me, but there is only one thing left that I want, one thing that isn't mine. She's sitting next to me on the bench seat of my father's old ford.
Alice is staring out the window up at the clear night sky, her eyes are full of tears. "I wish you wouldn't cry." I say, fiddling with my hands on the stearing wheel.

"I'm sorry... I'm ruining your last night here. You should be out celebrating; saying goodbye to everyone."

"There's no one else here that I care about. It's not like this is the first time I've gone away for hockey Aliie."

"I know... but this time is different..." We can both feel it. The truth spreads into the silence. This time I don't have a date to give her; I can't tell her when I'll be back. Everything I own has been packed into the back of this truck, ready to come with me to my new life. "How do I do it Jordie? How do I say goodbye to you?"

"It doesn't have to be goodbye... you could come with me..." No she can't. NYU is waiting. She has her own life, her own dreams. We joke about her moving to Pittsburgh too, but that's all it is... jokes. I can't ask her to give up her dreams for mine; I love her too much to be that selfish.

"You know I can't do that... Marc and Eric would be so jealous..." We both laugh, but it's an awkward laugh; it ends quickly.

"So what do you want to do?"

"I don't know, it's your last night here... what do you want to do?" Be with you, tell you I love you... I sigh.

"I have to meet dad at 3... we leave for the airport then..."

"That gives us a few hours still. Think Jordie..." She looks across the seat towards me, leaning in my direction. "What's something you've always wanted to do here that you never got the chance to do. This might be the last time you get to do it..."

I lean towards her, she so close that I can smell her lipgloss; it's coconut. I lick my lips as she stares straight into my eyes. She tilts her head to the side, a small smile crossing her lips. I pull back and begin fiddling with the dials of the radio... "Ummmm... hmmmm.... we could... go play on the tire swing?"

"It's after midnight..."

"I know... how long had it been since we went for a midnight swim?" She laughs and leans back over to her side of the truck.

"Sounds good to me."

****

Dad is standing at the terminal gate, checking with the flight attendent to make sure he's at the right one. Alice is standing beside me, her usually spikey hair has fallen limp, there is a sadness in her eyes. I want to hold her and make it go away, I know it was me that put it there. My dad calls my name, waving me over. Alice and I was slowly towards him; side by side.
"Well this is it Jordan. Mario's going to meet you at the airport in Pittsburgh... it's a direct flight so you don't have to worry about stop-overs or any of that nonsense." He looks older, more weathered than normal; he doesn't handle loosing his sons well. He slaps me on the shoulder before pulling me into a rough hug, which I return. "You take care of yourself now. You're mother and I will be down to visit, soon as we can."

"I will dad... I'll miss you." He nods and steps back, I can see that he's trying not to cry.

"Have fun Jordie... don't let them push you around too much. Stay in touch... ok?" I nod down at Alice. "Promise me. Promise me you'll stay in touch ok?" I continue to nod, not trusting my voice enough to speak. Alice is crying, the tears are falling silently down her cheeks.

"I'll see ya around..." I force a smile, and give her a tight hug. I pick up my carry on bag and head through the terminal gate; turning once to wave goodbye over my shoulder. My father has his arm around Alice and is waving back; Alice isn't looking at me. Her hands are covering her face and she is turned into my father, her shoulders shaking with the pain I know she is trying to hide from me.

I take my seat on the flight, pulling out my headphone immediatly and pushing them into my ears. As the plane takes off I realize that I am crying. I put my head back on the seat and take deep breaths to try and calm myself.
All that's left to do now, is pray that Alice knows how I truly feel. Pray that she realizes when I say 'I'll see ya around...' I really mean, 'I will always love you'.



"So do you?" Alice's voice pulls me back.

"Huh?"

Alice is laughing now, "Hello... earth to Jordan..."

"Oh sorry... I guess I wasn't paying attention."

She shakes her head, her greens eyes twinkling with amusment. "Do you ever wonder what would have happened to us?"

"No..." I say, turning my eyes to her; I don't wonder I know... we would have been together forever. Shamus would be son and I would have saved you from all the pain that you had to suffer through. We would have been happy together... you would have been mine. I shake my head. "I guess I've never really thought about it..."